Updated on April 28, 2021
Every parent would say that they love their children, but sometimes that love is not appreciated by your kids or they just don’t understand it. But have you wondered what your children’s love language is about?
Dr. Gary Chapman found that there are 5 love languages that people express globally. Those 5 include acts of service, gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, and physical touch. And yes, kids develop them as they grow up. So as parents especially in Asia, you can observe and discover the primary love language of your children.
Acts of Service
As Asian parents, we would almost always do things for our children just so they can live comfortably—we cook for them, we clean, drive them wherever they need to be, buy things for them, do their laundry and many more. What you may see as a chore, your child might see it as you showing your love and affection. Your child appreciates every little thing that you do! So, keep this in mind whenever they ask you for your help or have any requests—it’s not that they want to make it difficult for you, it’s just that acts of service are their love language.
Who would say no to gifts? When your child’s love language is giving gifts, that means that they would enjoy not just receiving them but also giving them. When choosing a gift for your child, the gift doesn’t necessarily have to be expensive. In fact, anything goes because it’s the thought that really counts. If this love language is carefully translated, then this expression of love can often extend into later years.
Children with this love language will flourish when you give your undivided attention to them. Either the knife down, television off, phone away, or chores on standby, being present in the moment would show them that they’re important and that you like being with them. In the end, it’s not so much of the activity, but rather the time spent together.
Words of Affirmation
Saying what you feel for your children may come off as super awkward, especially in an Asian household, but it is important to your child who has this love language. Encouragement and praise may be sustaining to them, but an affirmation of their characteristics and abilities would nurture their sense of security and self-worth. Just remember that the quote, “The tongue is sharper than the sword” stands true for these children in this category as you speak to them.
Asians generally don’t fancy physical contact other than hand holding with children or between young couples, and hugs between friends. To those of you whose children have this love language, a pat on the back, sitting close to each other, and hugs would mean more than enough. Your non-verbal cues would mean a lot to them—even more than you think.
As you discover your children’s primary love language, remember to also show them love through the other four as well. Alternatively, you could also do this quiz together with your children to find out in detail about their love language. In the end, they will need all 5 love languages to understand what the fullness of love looks like.
Have any idea what to gift your little one—toys, stationeries? Remember, anything goes if your child’s love language is giving gifts! You can grab our $15 Kiddy Palace Voucher and straight away shop for your little one’s gift at the nearest Kiddy Palace outlet!